Fucked by Girls

I love lots of different things about kink, kinky sex, and sexy kink, but I think my biggest fetish is getting fucked.

I mean I love sex in general, but from a 'fulfilling kink' point of view, Getting strap on fucked by a hot girl (and by definition, and girl I get fucked by is someone I find hot) is pushing all the best buttons for me.

There are a couple of reasons I like it so much I think. The first is that it was an unfulfilled kink for so long. I literally fantasised about it for 6 years before it happened, I either never met women that needed a fake cock (I was on the tranny scene for a while) or when I met the right kind of girl she wanted me to fuck her, which wasn't a bad thing at all, but it still meant my kink went unfulfilled.

Now that I’ve finally had my kink fulfilled (though for the record it first happened nearly 2 years ago) I love it, and can't get enough of it, which is sad as my fixes are few and far between. I have plenty of sex, but pretty much all of it is penetrative by me rather than of me.

Now of course there's a bit of a difference between me fucking a girl and a girl fucking me. To 'prep' me fucking a girl, all we need is a Condom, or if we're close enough and have both been tested recently, nothing. Whereas if it's the other way round, she needs to make sure she has her harness, her dildo, a condom, I need ot make sure I’ve shaved (purely vain reasons), I DEFINITELY need to make sure I’ve had an enema... this is all still managable, but it means it's a lot harder to have spur of the moment Butt Fucking.

There's also a lower amount of people that want to fuck me than want to get fucked by me. At the moment, I have only one play partner who likes to indulge in boy fucking, and whenever we play it happens, but seeing as she's the only one and I play with more than one person, the chance that my next play session will be one I get fucked in is low.

Another reason I like it is the feeling of being filled up. Though getting fucked has never solely been a way to make me orgasm, I still get a great deal of pleasure from it, as well as the feeling of power that the girl has over me, she can make me whimper with anticipation by stopping, scream in pleasure and pain by shoving it all in, or make me moan in ecstasy by steadily pumping in and out.

Maybe it's a good thing that I don't get as much as I want, because that way it's special when it does happen and doesn't become boring with familiarity, but I don't think that would happen. I mean I have regular sex pretty often, and that's still great!

So in all, I love fucking, I love being butt fucked, and I love sex! Oh and FWIW, if anyone reading this wants to fuck me up the ass, that would be super ;-)

A Damned Good Catch

This is going to be a very hard post, as the subject material is something that I have issues with, and so will probably be short and succinct.

I'm attractive.

I may always be moaning about how I’ve been single forever, or how no one wants me, but I know people want me, mostly because they tell me they want me and then show me they want me.

I'm attractive, funny, smart but not arrogant, I may have a few faults but I think my biggest fault is my moaning, which is certainly something I can work on.

In short, I'm a Damned Good Catch.

The only problem is, I don't believe it all the time. I've always had crippling self esteem, I had my first kiss at 15, lost my virginity at 16, both at times and to people that I shouldn't even have touched. But I did.

Now, I'm surrounded by lovely beautiful people who say and show that I'm hot, and that I'm wanted, which is just fucking amazing, and in short, it makes me a very happy person.

Unwanted

Well here we go.

I’m writing this not in response to any particular thing that’s happened, just a couple of things in general coupled with my extreme paranoia.  Also this isn’t a cry for help or a ‘woe is me’ thing, It’s just a selfish rant I need to get off my chest.  You know what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved, or something like that.

I seem to have been having a downturn with the whole lovelife recently.  I’ve never been very lucky in that respect, my longest relationship being only 11 months, and my most recent one being only 2 months, though I sometimes wonder if it can be called a relationship, but that’s a discussion for another time.

Not including my last ‘was it/wasn’t it?’ relationship, I’ve been single for just under 4 years.  Now don’t get me wrong, I like several aspects of the single life, and I definitely wouldn’t have been able to have as much fun in the last 2 years if I’d been in a monogamous relationship. 

However there are certain things I miss about being with someone.  The cuddles when you go to sleep with them.  The texts that you send or receive just to say you were having thoughts about them, the assurance that someone will be there for you.  These are all things I can get from my friends and play partners, but there’s a difference between getting them from friends and getting them from a person that’s, for lack of a better phrase, your own.  I don’t mean I want a monogamous relationship, far from it, but I do want someone that I can say is mine, whether that person is someone else’s as well is irrelevant.

Which brings me onto my titular point.  The only people I think that I could go out with (two at the moment) are not available to me.  They are both play partners and good friends, but one has just started dating a couple and the other seems to have more than enough time taken up with her girlfriend and moving.  What’s even more annoying is that the first has been interested in dating me up until the very recent past, but it appears to have just been something that’s been pushed away now.

I feel like no one wants me.  Which I know isn’t true, many people ‘want’ me, but how many people want me to keep?  Now I’ve lost the shinyness that I had when I first came onto the scene just under 2 years ago people aren’t interested in me nearly as much any more, and I honestly don’t know what to do about it.

This isn’t me giving up hope, but sometimes I just feel down about constantly going home and getting into my single bed (have only had a double bed for 2 years in my 24 year life when I was at uni) and sleeping alone.  I need to turn myself around, the only question is how to do it.

Suggestions?